hiatus

I have been on a little blog hiatus for the past few months. There are a few reasons for this. One is just the lack of time, another is people in my life who have come and gone, and I didn't really know who to write about or what to write about or who would get hurt from my mentions of other people.

Every once and awhile, I have little moments where I think, why would I want to share details of my life with strangers, what's the point? It seems that there is this blogging roller coaster, and it's something that other bloggers face, because I have heard it before. Ups and downs of, this makes sense, it's so fun, it's so meaningful, who cares what other people think! And then there are the opposite emotions that follow.

But this weekend, I was looking back at my past blog posts, and it was absolutely fantastic. The things I wrote, the thoughts I thought. There were emotions I completely forgot about, and sometimes I didn't even recognize my own voice. How fascinating it was. And of course I have my heavily emotional secret personal blog and my actual journal where I can save these thoughts. But reading old comments about friends who could relate so much to the feelings I had thought were embrassing or too sensitive. But in reality, I am not alone, and sharing words can provide some sense of likeness and ability to relate with the world, that it's worth it. No matter how much I question my sanity of sharing my life to an unknown group of people. 

Plus, I'm on this life empowerment trip, and I want to document it. Thanks to my mom who says the most meaningful and powerful tings to me in times of sadness. She doesn't even know the depth of her wisdom and genuine love. It's absolutely amazing and I feel so blessed.

It's in times of confusion where we think, when is it going to slow down, be normal and constant and always joyful. That's a load of shit. Because that time will never come! There will always be moments of restlessness and change and that's what makes us stronger and appreciate the times of joy. 

Deep sigh. All is well.